What did the dog tell his owner when he saw the dogcatcher coming?
Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

What did the dog use to make his kite?
Flypaper.

What did the man do when his dog swallowed his pen?
Used a pencil instead.

What should you do if you find an angry 500-pound dog in your kitchen?
Eat out.

What should you do if you see a vicious dog?

Hope he doesn't see you.

What should you do with a blue dog?
Cheer him up.

What should you know before you teach your dog a new trick?
You should know more than your dog.

What time is it when five dogs are chasing a cat down the street?
Five after one.

What time is it when your watchdog lets a robber take the family silver?
Time to get a new watchdog.

What was the dog doing on the turnpike?
About seven miles an hour.

What word did the dog always pronounce incorrectly?
Incorrectly.