What bone will a dog never eat?
A trombone.

What do you call a dog that is left-handed?
A south paw.

What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie?
A dog that runs for help ... after he bites your leg off.

What does a dog get when it finishes obedience school?
A pet degree.

What goes "Tick tock, woof woof"?
A watch dog.

What is a little dog's favorite drink?
Pupsi-cola.

What do you get if an Airedale floats too close to the sun?
A hot dog.

What's happening when you hear "woof...splat...meow...splat?"
It's raining cats and dogs.

Where do you find a no legged dog?
Right where you left him.

Where do young dogs sleep when they camp out?
In pup tents.

Which side of a dog has the most hair?
The out side.

Why did the little boy name his dog Computer?
Because it came with lots of bytes.

How do you find your dog if he's lost in the woods?
Put your ear to the tree and listen for the bark!

How can you tell if you have a stupid dog?
It chases parked cars!

What happens if it rains cats and dogs?
You step into a poodle!